Petesophizing...

From Slate yesterday:

According to the Food Marketing Institute, meat was the most shoplifted item in America's grocery stores in 2005.

Apparently, the "Black Angus" stamp on beef triggers the impulse. For men, batteries are the most targeted item, but overall it's meat.

As the son of a retail butcher, having grown up with tales of meatlifting, I say unequivocably that the smoked hamhock I simmered in black beans last week was better than anything ever stamped "Black Angus" -- and more portable than a porterhouse.

Speaking of ham -- the Academy Awards nominations have given some validation to Petesophizing by recognizing Mark Wahlberg's performance in The Departed.

Like looking at tree rings, you can tell your age by counting the Best Picture nominees you've seen. For a decade I was at three out of five. This year, two -- The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine

This morning I saw the headline JT Pounds One Down For Mom and thought I'd catch up on James Taylor. Alas -- "JT" is Justin Timberlake now.

Re: the performance of one Nicholas Zitzmann on last night's American Idol, Munraven raves:

I watched the show last night. I was appalled.

The software guy from Utah looked like a textbook case of Asperger's Syndrome.

The Thinking Mother writes:

I think American Idol has crossed the line now.

I saw two if not five people on the show 1B who seemed to me to have symptoms of being in various places on the Autism Spectrum, such as Asperger’s Syndrome or being a highly functioning Autistic person, if not having Pervasive Developmental Delay or some other kind of real issue such as possibly even, mild mental retardation.

tvsquad offers:

Does 'Idol' Need To Be Such A Spectacle Of Cruelty?

I consulted JR, a clinical psychologist with a specialization in autism, a top expert who works with Asperger's every day. Re: Zitzmann, she says:

I'd bet on it.

The armchair diagnosis is all over the web, an extraordinary sign of the times. So is the backlash against Idol. But I think Zitzmann, a 27 year old software engineer from Midvale, Utah, was triumphant, and American Idol should be commended, not vilified.

Even a cram-course understanding (mine) of the Americans With Disabilities Act and the litigation arising from this wonderful legislation is enough to commend the Idol producers, whose goal is a parade of the genuinely delusional, talentwise. They cannot, and should not, screen out the Nicholas Zitzmann's of the world. Nor can they ask him if he is in some way disabled.

Zitzmann has a right to make a fool of himself singing, like anyone else. He did. He also had moments of shy dignity. The above clip is worth viewing to the end, if only to watch Simon Cowell ask him:

What the bloody hell was that?

To which Zitzmann replied:

It was me.

I've received another email from my cousin Gyula Foistikov in Korvatz. He proudly forwards another of his "schemata" and the abstract of his newly published paper:

Primul Moderna Brassiere Osho Maria Phelps Jacobs:
Formovik v. Functionariti

Dc. Gyula A. Foistikov, V.V.M.
Universitosto Korvatz, Dezembro 2006

Abstraktik

Karo jat rdnjak kao Sneeder, Meckling et. al. 2002 Proposing Panties With A Purpose, te sodao bimi opozao te pol 1930's je uzo do tup Internet gramaticki rod uloga. Stavja zene to formovik v. funcionaritie in tvornica mondura za jedan dan ni 1917, U.S. Ea pe rochie unul acestia corsets, sia whalebones pokeda afara visiblo. Ea patented ei designa siacum hot brassierro un suport parta de apropriat fiecare moderno femeie wardrobla. Oni je kupovina sto gore neki 28,000 tona od posuti tucanisam dosta ot graviti da bosni brok upsy-daisy a lepo whoopsie poopsie.

The day Sister Josetha told me a boy once peed on a painting of the Virgin Mary and he never stopped peeing. What chance does therapy have against that? I'm 44.

Photo: The Peeing Boy Of Brussels by Emmaline